April 08, 2004

Stand Inside Your Love

Yeah, I love that song. I was on one of the old Smashing Pumpkins fan based collectives and noticed that Kill Hannah did a cover of the song. I downloaded a minute long sample -- it's not on the ACT IV CD since it skips apparently, but sounds really yummy. But easily, Stand Inside Your Love is my favorite Pumpkins song. The "Salome"-esque video helps my opinion of it a lot too. MTV called it one of the worst videos ever, but hey it's MTV what the fuck do they know?

So, I shaved ... totally. This is the first time I've been totally .. totally clean shaven -- and I mean not even a little goatee in at least a year. It's crazy because I really don;t recognize myself too much. Yesterday, I found a photo of myself for ID purposes taken in September 2003 and the difference is really like, wow. I'm giddy with the idea that if its this much now, it'll be even moreso when I get to my goal weight. To put it in perspective, I've lost 10 pounds since that photo I posted of myself with Laura Harring. So, its really cool seeing physical change happen.

And it is hard to stay motivated after 5 months, especially since my circle of support has closed a bit since I started, but I'm hanging in there and it's cool to me that the Bally's staff and organization has been so helpful to me. I owe them so much really and they've really helped me get a new lease and perspective on my life and I really will carry that with me forever I think.

I think that's why when I see crap like "The Swan" and "Extreme Makeover" it bothers me, because there's a definite DEFINITE difference between having someone do all the work of getting the fat outta you and then just taking it for granted. I've had to fight for every pounds I've lost very hard. I put in over an hour of workout time, high intensity cardio, every single day, 3 to 4 days a week my workouts run over 2 hours and this is all while staying on track for my diet. I do this for me because it's built my esteem up and I take pride in being able to help shape my body to my eventual goal. When I started I had 125 lbs. to lose. Now it's only 35 left to go.

Next week I have off for spring break. I expect to be in the gym a lot. If I get to my 100 pounds loss goal then I'll be really happy since I'll be able to put so much more gym time without work in the morning.

I almost have a finished Rogue piece to put up for sale on the weekend. Alongside with a nude Dawn that should fetch me some decent money I hope.

I'm probably NEVER going to find a Hellboy figure. It's royally pissed me off. I won;t get into it except to say my anger really resonates right now about it. Gah.

Ah well. Venting is nice.

Posted by Vic at April 8, 2004 08:54 AM
Comments
Post a comment









Remember personal info?